so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
