Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
