My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
