I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
