I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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