i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
