if i can run in heels then i can drive
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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