Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
