is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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