thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
