I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
