I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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