she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
