He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
