We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
