So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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