I hope mine doesn't look like that
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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