i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
