I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
