Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
