I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
