it's like her boobs came off with her bra
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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