shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
