The maid of honor just puked.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
we should paint friendship bongs
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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