Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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