Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
