I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
