you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
