I hate all girls vehemently.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
