you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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