We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
