I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
