The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
only if we run a train.
done.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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