Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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