He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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