bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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