drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
