At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
