That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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