I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
