I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
