I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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