i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
