chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
