I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
