Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
