my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Someone signed my nipple.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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