So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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