you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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