How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
